There are boxes everywhere and the place looks a bit unlivable. That’s probably pretty dramatic, and one of those “first world problems” type of phrases, because in reality, it’s probably not that bad. But to me, it’s a true mess, and I’m not your typical neat freak.
I guess there is just something about a room full of boxes that makes a room feel so un-homey. So cold. And at times, these past few days have felt like that. Like I’m living in the only place that I’ve ever belonged, but I don’t actually belong anymore. I am in transition. Change is happening.
So often we think of change as a bad word. We crave comfort in this culture, and lets face it, change isn’t comfortable. I’m not comfortable with it, that’s for sure. I kicked and screamed in a toddler-like tantrum when I found out that I had to change…I had to move from the state, from the home-town, from the family that I had been living with all of my life.
And days like today- days after packing a whole week long, days that are less than three days from that big moving day- are just plain exhausting. There are days that it hits you like a mac truck. The change hits you and it’s hard and it hurts and it feels like it’s never going to end because there are just so many boxes.
But it will end. And God will teach me something- lots of somethings, I’m sure, because that’s what He does. He kicks you out of the comfortable because He didn’t call you to be comfortable. God calls us to be His, and to walk the path that He sets forth. Sometimes that path seems very comfortable, but no matter how comfortable it seems, it is always riddled with change. There is always change.
So all of these boxes, they will soon be moved and they will be unpacked and I won’t remember them much. But I will try to remember that there are other things that need to be boxed up and moved, too. Other changes that need to constantly happen- changes that are not always physical. For example, lets take selfishness; that needs to be boxed up and moved far from me. And those temptations to just keep eating, avoid the gym- those need to go too. But those are the changes that make life an ever changing thing. Because you can’t a box or a a truck big enough to move all of the selfishness permanently out of you (well, I can’t). Instead, it’s about waking up every day, embracing change, and even asking God to make it happen.
So these boxes- I don’t like them because they represent change, and the change they represent won’t be easy. But maybe I should look at them differently, and instead of seeing uncomfortable, I should see adventure and love…I should see a better wife and a better person on the other side of the boxes, on the other side of the change. I should probably stop hating the boxes, and I should definitely stop hating change, because there is always change, even if there aren’t boxes. And the change is pretty beautiful, even if it’s uncomfortable. Even if it’s messy.